Dear Arnold (as in Schwarzenegger)

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Previously posted/re-posting to THIS – our NEW WEBSITE! WELCOME!

Dear Arnold Schwarzenegger,

We see you at every conference we do for FamilyLife around the country.

Sometimes it’s the husband, and sometimes it’s the wife, but here is the all too common scenario:
“I made a mistake and had (“X” numbers of affairs for “X” number of years.) NOW, I want to make things work with my spouse.”

OK….it can happen, but it probably won’t happen until:

1- ADMIT you SINNED
2-GO for counseling to get the help you need to understand your wrongs/sins and what you will need to do to get back on track
3- RE-BUILD TRUST – you can, and while it often takes a few years, it can be done

We hear that you are sorry for your mistakes, etc. and you want to restore that relationship – and we pray that will happen for you….but let’s not forget that you need to be truly remorseful and want to make the changes needed so that it won’t keep happening, something USA Today along with 60 Minutes, Hannity, and numerous other shows quote you confessing to other affairs….indicating this is a purposeful pattern. From our experience, getting on track with God (or getting back on track with God) is the foundation upon which to build true lasting reconciliation.

We agree with your own words – that you “made a mistake,” that you “are not perfect”, that you “screwed up” by fathering a child and kept that secret for 14 years…and (according to USA TODAY 10/1/12) that “You can’t run from your mistakes. You have to confront them.”

But at what point in those 14 years did you consider confessing your sin to your wife and to God and stepping up to be the man you should have been? Have you even done that yet, or are you just looking for someone (the public) to say, “Yes, we support you, and feel sorry for you.”

USA Today’s sub-headline (pg. 2D) was: SCHWARZENEGGER HOPES HE, SHRIVER RECONNECT. And you know what? All of us who speak on behalf of making marriage matter hope you can reconnect, too….but as you are known for your well rehearsed line, “I’ll be back” – realize that will only begin to be a reality when you own up to the sins you need to confess: adultery, deception, lying, and probably a few others the public isn’t privy to.

We, the public don’t need to be privy to your sin…that is between YOU, GOD and MARIA…..not in a book (that I will personally not be interested in reading) to air dirty laundry in public. I’d like to read the book you write when you confront your sin, ask for forgiveness and model a marriage for your kids and your future grand kids that will make your marriage the legacy it could be if you get back on track.

And should you (or others) like some resources to make YOUR MARRIAGE MATTER:

www.familylife.com – Marriage information, conferences, books, tools…..

STEPPING UP by Dennis Rainey: http://shop.familylife.com/p-2307-stepping-up-video-series-leader-kit.aspx

CHOOSING FORGIVENESS: http://www.amazon.com/Choosing-Forgiveness-Your-Journey-Freedom/dp/0802432514

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