Numbering Our Days
By Cindi M. Ferrini

Today, as the wife of a dentist/ministry leader, mother of three and seminar speaker, I still catch myself being influenced in ways that suggest things need to be "turned off" to get life back into perspective and balance. It is amazing to see what some people do and what some refuse to do with the same 24 hours! We're told in Psalm 90:10: "The length of our days is seventy years—or eighty, if we have the strength" and verse 12 instructs us to "number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (NIV).

If I live to be 70, I will have been given at least 25,550 days to live. I do not want to waste a moment. Nor do I want to be so busy that I can't enjoy the gifts God has given me in my family, friends, ministry and life. I desire to live a balanced life and glorify the Lord in it.

In order to manage my time and maintain balance and order in my life, I ask myself these questions:

Is My Main Purpose in Life Being Fulfilled?

As believers our main purpose in life is to glorify God. That is why He created us (Isaiah 43:7; Psalm 86:12). This purpose gives me direction. How we initially do that depends on the different opportunities and situations God provides for us. Specific tasks and goals will need to be accomplished every day. Is what I'm doing being done for God's glory? Are the daily choices I am making being made in light of long-range goals and objectives?

How Is My Daily Quiet Time?

Did I pray to the Lord and read His Word to seek Him today? What did I learn? Could I share it with someone else? This is my spiritual food. Would I miss a physical meal as easily as I might be tempted to miss time with God? If I haven't sought the Lord first (Matthew 6:33), why should I think my time would be balanced? Just as the Lord was able to multiply the fish and the loaves, I occasionally ask Him to multiply the time in my day. I'm often blessed to see the hands on the clock move more slowly. The Lord’s time frame is different from our own (Psalm 90:4, II Peter 3:8).

Am I Being Realistic?

My list usually has 301 items to accomplish in a day! A reality check shows me that present needs, not perfection, are realistic. There must be time for each activity. Is time available? We all have different comfort levels. Is mine realistic for me? Will I be stressed? Is my health able to handle what I've been asked to do? Is this stage of life the right time to be doing certain things asked of me? Each age is a different season for our evaluation. Reevaluate and reset goals yearly, monthly, daily and even moment to moment if necessary to be best used of the Lord.

Am I Being Cautious?

"Yes" people need to ask this question. How long can a person keep adding to a schedule before the balance breaks? If I am adding something, what must I remove to keep life balanced? How will adding something affect my life, my family and other relationships? Do I really know what will be involved if I say yes? Learn to say "no" to what is good and "yes" to the best.

Instead of carrying my calendar, I carry a notebook. When asked to do something, a "blank" day looks like I'm automatically free. But if I have had several busy days or weeks, do I need that day for relief? I write the request in my notebook, pray about it and get back with that person after I have had time to evaluate all of these questions.

Can I Be Flexible?

I was born an oak, not a willow, so the Lord has had to help me. In His sovereignty He gave us our son, Joey, who is multi-handicapped. I had no idea I could bend like I do at times! We need to be flexible to allow interruptions and changes to be truly effective for God. Many of His greatest blessings come when we least expect it. Are we flexible enough to drop everything if the Lord suddenly changes our direction? Are we willing to be f1exible? It may take practice. Don’t be easily discouraged.

Am I Delegating?

Delegating is difficult if you feel you need things done a certain way at a certain time. By delegating appropriately you are able to gain a few extra hours. "Dumping" what you don't want to be bothered with, however, is not the right way. That builds resentment in others.

Ask yourself: Is there someone who is better suited or better able to accomplish a part of this task? Is there someone who believes in what I’m doing who would lend a hand if I were to ask for help when things are overwhelming? Some people do not "do" simply because they are never asked. I have made it one of my goals to delegate appropriate chores to my children. We can do that in ministry as well.

Do I Have a Partner?

My husband and I work well together. We are thankful the Lord made us a team. At this moment he is helping to get a few things accomplished so I can write. I do the same for him when he is meeting a deadline.

You do not have to be married to have someone who will partner with you. Is there someone you really enjoy working with who would make a project more fun? Is there someone who encourages you to keep plugging away by praying for you? Equally as important, is there someone you can do that for as well? A partnership is giving and receiving. Good time managers are not just "takers" (Luke 6:38).

Am I Doing Things For the Right Reason?

If my motivation for doing something is to please or impress others, I will be stressed. Do I feel the need to do something because this person will think less of me if I don't do it? Am I doing it to be liked, popular or powerful?

A while back, our daughter Kristina was asked to join a third orchestra group. I told her I would commit the time to provide transportation and stay for rehearsal if she were willing to devote equal time to additional practice. I asked her to pray and seek the Lord. Her answer showed balance and brought relief: "Mom, I think I will only be trying to please the teacher, and I would miss the one day I get to play with Kathleen." The right reasons will lead to balance.

Am I Using My Spiritual Gift?

If you are using the gift God has blessed you with, you will in turn bless others and be energized as you use it. If you are using another's gift, you are likely to be frustrated and tired because it doesn't fit you. Are you loving where God has you serving, even when situations are difficult? Are you able to see the good that is happening as a result of how you use your gift? If you aren't sure what your gift is, begin to notice where you enjoy serving. Spiritual gift inventories can help determine your gifts.

Am I Taking Time to Rest, Exercise, Enjoy Life and Even Play?

We're really out of balance if we have forgotten what these things are! What do I enjoy that will refresh and allow me to complete the tasks God has given me? Is there someone I need to be accountable to? These times should not be looked upon as wasted time unless they are in excess and tilting the balance.

Are God's Priorities for Me Kept in Order?

"God is not a God of disorder but of peace" (I Corinthians 14:33). When things aren't in order, it's usually because we’ve taken over. Lord, what should I do? Have I been sitting on the sidelines too long? Lord, where should I cut back if I've been in the game too long? If I like to play, is there a time limit I can put on some activities so that I can then get to work? If I’m too driven by projects, how long should I work at a task before taking a break and playing a game with the children, calling a friend to see how she is doing or kicking up my feet and reading a book? We need to be selective.

Am I Balanced?

Many people want a "formula" so they can feel good about what they are or are not doing. There is no set formula. You will know when you are out of balance. I know when I am! I get short with those I love most. I lose perspective. I get tired. But I am not perfect, so I continue to learn to live the balanced life by "turning off," "shutting down," "chilling out" and "cooling my jets."

We begin to feel the need for balance when problems with our feelings, emotions, attitudes and actions begin to spin out of control. If change is too long in coming, the stress and strain eventually will degrade our emotional, physical and spiritual health. My desire, like that of an athlete, is to better my time. I don't want to wait months or weeks to get things in balance. I want to correct the errors the moment I detect them so that I can run the race of life (I Corinthians 9:24-27) with endurance and strength. Even marathon runners rest!

Ask the Lord to show you how to manage your time better. Ask Him to give you balance as you make plans and establish goals. God will bless you as you seek His good and perfect will.

This article was published in the October 1, 1997 issue of Alliance Life Magazine

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